when in rome.

eh, it’s a cute little romantic comedy.  the two main characters, kristin bell and josh duhamel are very pretty and very charming.  the supporting characters are a little thin.  which is shame.  i like all those guys.  danny devito, napoleon dynamite, dax shepard and will arnett are all very funny dudes.  just not in this movie.  and i was glad to see pedro make an appearance.

there are scenes that are funny.  mostly the physical comedy which both duhamel and bell pull off really well, there’s just not much of it.

it is very predictable which is the biggest complaint i’ve heard from movie goers about this film.  but it’s a romantic comedy.  almost by definition these things are predictable.  but it’s still enjoyable, especially in the company of cute little blond girls.

two naked roman statues out of five.  prob not gonna buy it.

up in the air.

eh, if you hate george clooney, you’ll hate this flick.  it’s pretty much george clooney being george clooney.  with sexy co-stars.  wait a second, that’s just george clooney being george clooney.  what i mean to say is you get a lot of george clooney in this movie.

having thusly stated, it’s not that bad a show.  if you don’t mind george clooney that is.

it seems to me to be a modern spin on a classic tale of two misfit companions on a journey together.  much in the old frank capra mold.  kinda like it happened one night.  this is one of the reasons i’m a fan of george clooney.  he does a lot of these throw back, old school films that might not always have the mass appeal of the oceans 11 but i kinda enjoy.  movies like the good german which is done in a 50’s film noir style or goodnight and good luck which portrays the edward r. murrow vs. senator joseph mccarthy controversy in a 50’s black and white style.

all very cool films.  i’m not putting this one there with goodnight and good luck, but it’s not bad.  it does take on a depressing vibe towards the end.  and that’s the modern twist on the frank capra classic model.  and it’s also more true to life.

two and a half bobbly headed george clooneys out of five.  i might pick it up in th e5 dollar bin just cause chicks dig george clooney.

directed by jason reitman.  screenplay by jason reitman and sheldon turner.  starring george clooney, anna kendrick, vera farmiga and jason bateman.  with j. k. simmons, sam elliot and danny mcbride.

legion.

this one kinda sucks.  and that’s disappointing.  but it happens.  they stole lots of stuff from lots of movies and ended up with some kind of potpourri of the terminator, tremors and the prophesy.  all pretty good stand alone movies, but they have no business being together.

instead of a futuristic cyborg, the angel michael comes down to protect a pregnant lady and her unborn baby because the baby is the key to the survival of the human race…really?  okay, so he holes up in a remote gas station/diner in the middle the desert with about 7 or 8 people.  kinda like in tremors.  and it’s like the prophecy in the way there’s some kind of whacky god hates men and wants them exterminated way.

i don’t know.  don’t rush out and see this one.  really.  it sucks.

starring paul bettany, dennis quaid, lucas black and tyrese gibson.  directed by scott stewart and written by peter schink and scott stewart.

the road, the book of eli, the blind side and the missing.

so i’ve been a bit behind in my movies so i watched a few this week.  three that are in theaters now and one on dvd.  and out of all of them, the missing was the best.  the missing is circa 2003 starring tommy lee jones and cate blanchett and directed by ron howard.  i bought it for 2 bucks at half price books.

the missing is a western and i’m a fan of westerns but it still is better than any of the above mentioned films.  it’s just a better story with more compelling characters.  tommy lee jones is cate blanchett’s estranged half indian father who left her and her mother when she was just a child.  and now, ever how many years later he just shows up.  cate’s daughter just happens to get snagged by some crazy indian witch doctor who sells white girls in mexico.

and as you probably already know, it takes and indian to catch an indian.  so tommy lee takes cate and her younger daughter after the crazed indian captors.  a good, old fashioned chasing some indians western.  i loved it.

i finally got around to seeing the blind side and have to say i wasn’t impressed at all.  i guess i can understand it’s popularity.  this is a very easy film to watch.  there’s no shocking violence, no bad language but there’s also no conflict.  it’s the most vanilla movie i think i’ve ever seen.  the actors are all very good.  especially tim mcgraw.  i would not have known it was tim mcgraw if i didn’t already know it was tim mcgraw.  he was very believable.  of course opposite sandra bullock i’m sure his job was pretty easy.  and sandra was as good as ever.  quinton aaron did a good job as michael oher.  and it is a nice, feel good story.   poor homeless black kid is adopted by an affluent white family and goes on to star in the nfl.  feel good story of the year i suppose.  and that’s why it’s so popular.  non offensive, feel good movie for all ages.  that’s all fine and good, just not necessarily my cup of tea.  if in fact i drank tea.

the next two films are more recent releases and both deal with post apocolyptic themes.  the road, adapted from a cormac mccarthy novel follows the man and the boy on a journey down a treacherous road searching for safety and security in a world torn apart by famine and cannibalism.  yes, cannibalism.  the blast comes and wipes out everything.  blots out the sun almost so nothing will grow.  and once all the food is gone, the people turn on themselves.  there are basically two groups of people we encounter in this film.  those with guns that hunt down people without guns.  and these people with guns eat the people without guns.

very drab, dreary and depressing.  thanks cormac mccarthy.  i’m thinking the novel is much better than the film.  my biggest complaint is just that the boy has lived far too a severe lifestyle since he’s been born to be such a whiny little thing.  shut up and deal with it kid.  i also found it interesting that the man was able to keep his bic lighter working for so long without running out of fuel.  this one is not near as good as no country for old men.  which is a complete downer in it’s own right.  if you’re just too happy, go check this one out.

the book of eli also involves the world after the blast.  and there are some cannibals in this one too, but they aren’t the main concern.  the big problem here is denzel washington, eli, has possession of a book that one particular evil city developer wants.  what is this book you may ask?  well if you can’t figure it out, i’m not telling.  actually, i am telling.

so old eli is just chilling after the blast that wiped out everything and he is spoken to by god, or an angel.  i’m not sure they specify.  but either way, he is led to a hill where he finds a book under a rock.  and he’s told to take this book west and that he would be protected so long as he was fulfilling his mission.  and he is protected.  whether by god or by his bad ass ninja skills.

this thing plays a lot like a comic book movie.  some of the images are really cool.  the first fight scene takes place in shadow, or rather there’s a very bright background so the figures in the fight are silloettes.  there is some really cool camera work particularly during the fight scenes.

but the whole being led to a hill and uncovering a book that is entrusted to him and he was to bring the book forth to a place where it can be accepted and not exploited kinda makes me think of the story of how the book of mormon came into existance.  joseph smith is visited by an angel and led to a hill where he finds a book under a rock.  at one point i leaned over the person next to me in the movie and said, it’s not a bible, it’s the book of mormon!

but no, i was a bible.

after the blast the people fell into a serious state of apostacy.  no leadership, no morals, no nothing.  the world of mad max comes to life once again.  and it has a serious mad max vibe.  where the road was washed out in gray, this world is sepia tone.

the book of eli is far more entertaining than the road, but i’m still not sure which one is better.  they are both well done and do not leave me looking for the day of apocolypse.  looks like it’s gonna suck.  gary oldman is always good and he’s good here, he just has a weak, one dimensional role that is far below his skill level.  denzel is a bad ass.  much the way mel gibson was a bad ass in mad max.  and that’s fun to watch.  mila kunis is finally cast in a decent role.  one that she fits into.  and that was nice to see.  eh, who am i kidding?  mila kunis is nice to see.

all in all, i’m glad i picked up the missing for 2 dollars.  quite a bargain.  the book of eli i’ll pay five bucks for.  the road and the blind side?  probably won’t make it into the collection.

the imaginarium of dr. parnassus.

there’s definatly some whacked out stuff going on in there.  i’m pretty sure terry gilliam is trying to say something about religion and choice and free will and morality and coming of age and sex.  i’m just not sure what.  there’s lots of high brow ideas and plays on human nature it just gets a little muddled up and i was constantly trying to figure out exactly what the point was.  what the movie is trying to say.  it’s like it’s trying to say too much and you never get one point coming across very clear.

having said that, it might get added to my collection at some point in the future.  i’m totally in love with lily cole.  she’s my dream girl.  not unlike a porcelal doll come to life.  and the whole thing looks pretty cool.  not the super high tech look of an avatar or anything like that.  in fact, at times the scenery looks downright cheap and hokey.  but to me that’s part of what makes it cool.  money python fans will see some very definitive stylistic ideas that should be familiar.

the whole thing is just kinda weird.  you got this old school traveling show like thing running around in what appears to be a modern day london.  well, they show scenes of an old school london, but the majority takes place in a modern london.  ya got this old drunk dude that just kinda sits there on stage, lily cole looking fabulous just kinda dancing around, this one akward kid trying to lure people to pay for the show and little vern troyer joking that with him, dr. parnassus would have to find a midget.  he says ya know midget, a little taller than me, big heads, pudgy little hands.

i’m not sure why that’s funny but i’m pretty sure it is.

anyway, once you enter the imaginarium you are presented with a choice that you must make.  just like with any choice, there is a consequence.  and i think that’s pretty much the theme throughout the flick.  something like we all must make our own choices and live with the outcome.  i don’t know, i did get lost a little bit.

this movie is unique in the way it uses four actors to play one character.  heath ledger died while they were filming so he couldn’t be there to film all of his scenes.  but that’s okay, since in the imaginarium is kinda like being inside old dr. parnassus’ head, anything can happen right?  so everytime heath’s character enters the imaginarium, he has a different face.  faces played by jude law, colin farrell and johnny depp.

after watching jude law’s scene i got the impression there was one too many stars wanting to pick up for heath ledger but not enough good scenes.  so they just kinda threw that one in there so jude would have something to do and the producers could tell everyone how many superstar actors they had.  when i watch it on dvd, i’ll skip jude’s scene.  sorry jude.  it’s not your fault.  you had nothing to work with.

i don’t know i’ll buy this thing new but i’ll pick it up on the blockbuster 3 for 20 rack.  i did like it.  most of you won’t though.  check out some other terry gilliam films if you are feeling frisky.  and if you like them, you’ll like this one.  but like i said, most of you won’t.

other terry gilliam movies: the brothers grimm, fear and loathing in las vegas, 12 monkeys, the fisher king, the adventures of baron munchausen, brazil and time bandits.  not to mention the great monty python films the life of brian, the meaning of life and the holy grail.

daybreakers.

the best vampire movie i’ve seen this year!  of course it is only january 8.

no faggie sparkle in the sunlight vampires here.  nope, these monsters burst full into flame when they come in contact with sunlight.  and when they don’t drink human blood they turn into even worse monsters.  nasty bat looking creatures that get all crazy and stuff.

the premise is this, the vampire virus breaks out and everyone turns into a vampire except a few humans who decide to fight against it.  so the vamps round up the remaining humans and farm them for blood.  other than the obvious problem here, the vampires would at some point realize if they turned everyone human, they would eventually run out of food.  and run out of food is exactly what they do.

they are of course searching for a blood substitute to keep them all alive.  they should call up the folks over at true blood at hbo.

anyway, ethan hawke is a vampire hermatologist working on this blood substitute.  he’s a softy and has compassion for the humans he sees hung up and drained of blood as he walks to his office everyday at work.  he runs into some humans on the run and they recruit him to help develop a cure.  but of course the greedy rich vampire that runs everything really isn’t looking for a cure, just repeat customers.

blood and gore ensue.  and it does get bloody and gory.  and ya know, that’s alright.  that’s the way vampire flicks are supposed to be.  starring ethan hawke, willem defoe and sam neill.

this one ain’t blowing up the box office this weekend unless everyone gets snowed in and has already seen everything else.  it’s just kinda alright.  i mean, it’s got some cool sun bursting and wood staking in it but i’m not gonna rush out and buy it on dvd.  if i find it in the five dollar rack maybe…

the princess and the frog.

this is actually a pretty good movie.  i enjoyed it.  it’s really got a classic disney feel to it.  and i think the animation had a great deal to do with that.  and also the very family friendly story line.  there’s a real positive message to this film and i liked it.

my favorite character was the little firefly guy.  he so funny.

and i say this film has that classic disney feel when in reality it’s something that disney has never done before.  it has a black princess.  or i should say african american princess.  whatever.

the opening scenes are some of the most touching i’ve seen from disney since, since…well wall-e.  which wasn’t that long ago, but the scenes are really touching.  where little tiana’s father tells her to never forget the important things in life.  the important things like family, and love.

the movie breaks out into song on several occasions and i’m reminded of the great musical scenes from aladdin.  although i’d have to rate aladdin several steps above this film.  just always been a big fan of that one.  that and the little mermaid.  but that’s another story.

the little voodoo lady is awesome, the fat trumpet playing alligator is awesome, i already mentioned my little firefly buddy.

i don’t know what else to say about this film other than it’s a classic disney princess movie.  i’m not gonna run out and buy it on dvd as soon as it’s released but if i had kids i’d pick it up on the 3 for 20 rack at blockbuster.

sherlock holmes.

yeah, it’s just okay.  the best part is the interaction between holmes and watson.  the story is a little convoluted and by the end it’s pretty easy to tell they are trying to set up a series of films.  but it was good enough that i’ll go see them.  this film didn’t suck, it’s just nothing that i’d write home to mom about, ya know.

robert downey, jr. and jude law are terrific.  which as i said above is the best thing about the film.  and it’s important to have likable characters.  especially if you are setting up a series of films.

rachel mcadams is super hot and mark strong makes for a pretty creepy villian.  the supporting cast is all well and good.  guy ritchie brings some cool stuff into the mix as well.  sherlock being the genius that he is has the uncanny ability to see a situation, make his plan of action, then execute it.  for example, he sees a bad guy that he must get past so we see in slow motion his plan.  to punch him here, there and wherever all in slow motion.  then he executes his plan in a quick fury.  that’s pretty cool to see a couple of times in the film.

the scenery is all bleak, industrial age london.  it’s done very well.  i’m glad i live in a time where indoor plumbing and daily baths are fairly commonplace.  and i like to think big giant rats aren’t running wild in our meat processing plants.

i give this one three bad english teeth out of five.  i’m still way behind on my movies but if you havn’t seen avatar yet, go see that one first.  it’s bad ass.

avatar.

i was fully prepared for this film to suck.  but it didnt’.  it’s actually pretty good.  not 500 million dollars and 8 years good, or however much James Cameron spent making it.  but it’s a good film.  ya better lay off the large cola though cause you ain’t making it through three hours of movie and trailers if you down 44 ounces of anything.  it’s a long movie.

it really doesn’t lose your attention too bad though.  the scenery is absolutely amazing.  probably the best animation i’ve seen.  nothing really comes close.

and the story doesn’t really suck either.  it’s kind of like dances with wolves meets braveheart.  those two movies were awesome so yeah, this movie is pretty good.  only it’s not Kevin Costner assimilating with the native americans or Mel Gibson trying to liberate Scotland, it’s Sam Worthington falling in with a bunch of wildly imaginative, unbelievable athletic, 7 foot tall blue aliens.  the people, as they call themselves.

the people, unfortunatly live directly on a vast deposit of, get this, un-obtain-ium.  seriously.  unobtainium.  so the corporation with it’s big private army wanna come in and up root these people for this mineral that looks like coal.  whatever.  classic story of one people’s struggle for independence over a larger, more powerful but, evil entity.  so it works.  i think  it works because the people are so cool.

they all have long braids of hair that have like nerve endings and they can link their consciousness with the horses they ride, and big giant ass pterodactyl like creatures.  they have like a shared consciousness that they can plug into from the living organic things around them.  which seems to be everything.  they exist within nature as more than just a part of it.  and i found all that to be pretty interesting.

and there’s lots of pretty lights.

300 million out of 500.

i’m also interested to see what the video game looks like.  because it’d be awesome to ride one of those giant ass pterodactyls.

i’m way behind…

so everyone says the blind side is the best movie they’ve seen in so long.  critics love it.  it’s still number one after so many weeks.  i just have no desire at all to see it.  i don’t know why.  it seems like a compelling story.  who doesn’t love sandra bullock?  i’m just not in the mood for it.

something else i’m not in the mood for is brothers.  i remember seeing the trailer and thinking to myself that this looks like a really powerful movie and one i’d be sure not to miss.  i’ve not seen it yet either.  i suppose for the purpose of having an active blog that i’m trying to figure out a way to make some bread with, i should see at least the blind side and blog on it.

i thought about hanging out after work tonight and watching blind side.  or maybe even the princess and the frog.  but i decided to come home and play my bass instead.  so, maybe tomorrow.