zombieland.

this is the movie to see this weekend.  period.  they give it to ya right off the bat.

it’s a touching love story set to the back drop of blood spattered, zombie ravaged america.

you hear metallica blasting as you see people running from zombies and zombies getting their heads smashed in.  it’s freaking awesome!

and i mean it.  they kick you right in the funny bone from the get go.  i expected this thing to be funny, but holy crap man, i almost laughed out of my seat.

it stars jesse eisenburg, who i like to call a bargain basement michael cera.  he’s all alone and has a list of ways to stay safe in zombieland.  number one is cardio.  the first ones to go were the fatties, mr. eisenburg flatly tells you as you see this big fat dude get run down by a zombie.  and his list goes on to include such things as fasten your seatbelt.  at which point you see him crash his car and a zombie that was hiding in his back seat go flying though the windshield.

check the back seat is quickly added to his list.

he comes across another survivor, woody harrelson who is driving a pimped out black escalade with the number 3 written on the side of it.  freaking classic.  the two team up and go about their zombie smashing business until they run into the girls. emma stone and abigail breslin.  comedy and splattered zombie brains ensue.

this is by far the best zombie movie since shaun of the dead.  it might be funnier even than shaun of the dead.  but who knows, with out shaun of the dead this movie probably never gets made.  so we’ll just put the two of them on a pedestal as the best zombie movies ever.

go see it.  it opens at midnight tonight.  unless you are squeamish about splattering zombie skulls.  then you might want to check out toy story one and two in 3D.

i’ll most def purchase zombieland when it is released on dvd.  this might be a day of release purchase.  it’s that freaking good.

oh, did i mention bill murray has a cameo?  what else do you need?

the hangover.

funniest movie of the summer.  freaking hilarious.  i think i have to put this in the category with old school.  sorry will ferrell.  land of the lost is pretty funny, but the hangover is an instant classic.  a must add to any respectable video library.

it’s got mike tyson singing phil collins.  it’s got guys getting tased in the face.  it’s got strippers, it’s got gambling, it’s got a naked chinese man jumping out of a car trunk.  i could go on and on.  it’s great.

my vocabulary is too limited to truly describe how funny this movie is.  i mean, there are moments where i feel i’ve seen this before in a really bad movie with ashton kutcher and that kid that played stifler, dude where’s my car?  because the movie is about these guys that go to vegas for a friends bachelor party and get effin ripped on roofies by accident and wake up with no idea what happened.  they are missing the groom, have a tiger in thier bathroom, one of them is married to a stripper and there’s a baby in the closet.

are you kidding me?  it’s got some gross out moments and some knee slapping.  i don’t know what else to say other than go see it.  it’s the movie to see this week.  unless you still havn’t seen star trek.  then go see star trek. 

they do coke with carrot top, man.  needless to say, this isn’t a kids movie.  it’s a good solid R.  but those are the funniest.

five shots of jager out of five.  instant classic.

land of the lost.

thank you will ferrell.  thank you.  i never watched the old campy tv show, land of the lost, but i’m pretty sure this movie does a good job of making fun of it.  the sets look like a bad star trek episode as well as the lizard men costumes.  so it’s obviously a film that isn’t meant to be taken seriously.  like any movie with will ferrell is to be taken seriously.

i laughed out loud several times.  there’s really not much else i can say about this movie other than go see it and you’ll laugh so hard you might pee your pants if you’ve been doing too much drinking before hand.  stoned or sober, this is a funny movie.

to compare will ferrell comedies is like comparing davinci masterpeices.  you just can’t do it.  you may like some better than others but they are all works of art. 

i’m not including old school in my comparisons because i think old school belongs in a class all by it’s little self.  an iconic film to be remembered for ages to come.  preserved in the pantheon on cinema history.  so having taken old school out of the equation, i’m calling talladega nights and anchorman his two best films.  and i’m putting land of the lost right in between them.  it will be an essential part of my dvd collection when it comes out.  i’ll of course wait until it’s used at blockbuster, but i’ll buy it.

four overly hot supporting actresses that would never look twice at a guy like will ferrell if he wasn’t will ferrell out of five.