if i presented you with the proposition to press a button that would kill someone, somewhere in the world that you did not know for one million dollars, what would you do?

i’d press the button and be on my way.

it is that question of morality that the film the box plays on.  and i have to say through about three quarters of the film it is a well acted, well produced and well directed   unfortunatly it had a fourth quarter to go.

let me discuss the things about this movie i liked.  it is set in the late 70’s and looks, sounds and feels like a film out of that era.  the wall paper is terrible, the wide men’s ties are atrocious and the soundtrack is killer.  any time you can fit “bell bottom blues” by eric clapton into a film, i’m a happy camper.  the original score is excellent as well.  it could very easily have been lifted from a 1976 film noir.

i was on imdb.com today and everyone seems to have a good time bashing cameron diaz’ accent.  which may not be the best virginia accent in the world but it beats the hell out of tom cruise’s german in valkyrie.  i’m not a big cameron diaz fan, but i thought she did a pretty good job considering the script she had to work with.  james marsden is pretty spot on too.  and i can never get enough frank langella.  that old dude just rocks.

the film is based on a short story by richard matheson called “button, button.”  matheson also wrote the story the film i am legend was based on.  and that movie pretty much rocked up until the final quarter too.  i need to read some of his work to see who i need to blame for the ending of his movies sucking.  but on this one i’m gonna go ahead and blame richard kelly.

richard kelly was the dude that directed donnie darko, so he’s a little out there anyway.  but come on dude.  just because you think you are so smart don’t mean you are.  just leave him as the mysterious man with the box.  that would have been much more better than that thin attempt to explain what’s going on.  sometimes we don’t need to know.  our imagination fills in the holes in your otherwise weak screenplay.

but whatever, that’s why i work at a movie theater and review movies on my blog.  because i’m so smart….

i don’t think this is going to be the movie to see this weekend.  i’ve not had the chance to screen the men who stare at goats or the fourth kind or disney’s a christmas carol.  thought i’m pretty sure how that last one goes.  it should still be fun to watch jim carrey’s animated old scrooge in 3D.

i did find it interesting that the button was only pushed by women…

one and a half cameron diazes out of five.

say what you will about michael jackson, and yes, brother did have his issues, but he could sing and dance his ass off.  the man was born to be on stage.

i’m not the biggest mj fan in the world, in fact at times i’ve been highly critical of the man and his antics.  but ya know what?  he’s gone and we are left with all the good things he has done and maybe that won’t wipe away all the crazy stuff we witnessed, but for me.  who cares.  thriller freaking rocks!

i got mj songs stuck in my head i had forgotten where mj songs.

michael jackson looks happy during the rehearsals for that big concert that never happened.  whenever you used to see him on tv or in an interview or anything else, he just looks so uncomfortable.  like he’s not really sure how he is expected to act.  but on stage, he knew how to act.  he looks happy.  looks like he belongs.  and it’s awesome.

if you like michael jackson or not, go see this thing.  it’s only got a few days left at the theater but you’d be sorry to miss it.  they were preparing to put on maybe the greatest spectacle of a concert the likes of such have never been seen.  and these are just rehearsals that are captured here, but the energy, the light, the sound is incredible.

they are not piping music in.  the band is live.  right there on stage with michael.  there ain’t no lip synching at a michael jackson show.  not even during rehearsals.  it’s awesome.  go see it.

best concert movie ever.

well, gerard butler looks pretty awesome with his shirt off.  and i’m really starting to miss the in living color jamie foxx days.  dude is just way too serious.

other than that, i really can’t say a lot about this film.  other than people seem to like it.  the friend i was with when i saw it really liked it as well.  i think i’m just an uber critic.

i think their objective in this film, other than blowing a bunch of stuff up, was to point out some flaws with our legal system.  like making deals with murderers and bad guys and giving them lesser sentences so they can give another bad guy and murderer a harsher sentence.  and i know this goes on.  i’ve seen it in other movies.

ol’ gerard loses his mind when the murderer of his wife and daughter get off with a light sentence because the guy testifies against another bad guy.  and he really does kill everybody.

it’s one of those deals where they set him up like a regular dude then we find out he’s got some mysterious lump sum payments made to him by the department of defense.  and no one thinks anything of it until people start dying.  turns out he’s like some brilliant black ops mastermind.

wow, who saw that coming?

i did come in late, which i really hate to do, and missed the terrible murder that started it.  maybe i would have bought into it a little more.  i just didn’t think all that was necessary.

there are some good action sequences and the actors all do a good job.  i particularly liked leslie bibb who plays jamie foxx’s assistant and bruce mcgill who plays the old lawyer confidant.  colm meaney is good as the cop.  i love that dude, he used to be star trek: the next generation and also in one of the spin offs.

two large movie theater popcorns out of five.  go see paranormal activity.

all i can say is i’m too freaked out to go to bed right now.  that’s why i’m writing this tonight instead of in the morning.

i just read “the greatest shaky cam movie ever” on imbd.com.  and it’s hard for me to disagree.  this is the best over the shoulder, mtv style, cam corder, you and an idiot friend could pull this off over a couple of weekends if you’d had this idea first, movie i’ve ever seen.  it puts blair witch to shame.

but of course, the blair witch paved the way for this type of film.  it’s shot from the perspective of two normal folk.  one of which is this incredibly racked young woman who has been plagued by a haunting since she was 8 years old and her douche bag idiot of a boyfriend who gets the idea that to buy a video camera and try to instigate whatever entity is haunting his girl would be a good one.

i mean, i’m actually rooting for this d-bag to get impaled or something.  he’s an idiot.  i’m almost afraid to write anymore.  so let me say, spoiler alert.  please come back and read after you’ve seen this movie.  because you need to go see it.  and make sure to take someone with you.  boy, girl.  whatever.  go with a friend.  pick up a stranger on the street, but take someone with you.  i watched this with three other grown men and we were all talking to the screen at various points in the feature.  “turn on the lights, you moron.”  “oh my god.”  “holy #$@%!”  “no effing way!”

this thing keeps you on the edge of your seat from the word go.  it really is brilliant.

but on to the spoiler alert.  and i call this a spoiler because it really could be a true story.  we’ve all heard stories and rumors of stories of stuff like this really happening.  but it’s completely scripted.  when that fool brings a weegie board into the house, if this was had really been happening to a woman since she was 8, and he brings a weegie board in, there ain’t no woman in this world would stay with him.  i don’t care how good looking he is, or how much money he makes, this chick, any chick, would be the eff out of that place and staying with a girlfriend.

but other than that, it is very believable.  and even still, i was on the edge of my seat just waiting for what happens next.  and that’s the beauty of this film and the style in which it is made.  it’s what happens next makes it so compelling.  because you never really see anything happen.  at all.  you start to see some stuff happen as the movie progresses, but it’s the sounds and the tension keeps you rivitted to the screen.

like i said, i watched with three other grown men and we were all afraid to go to the bathroom by ourselves after the screening.  we split up in pairs until we were all home.  it’s crazy.

i’ll see this movie again.  maybe a third time if i can talk another chick into going with me.

i’ma give this film a five out of five.  i went in not knowing a lot about what i was going to see, and had a great time.  and i’m probably not going to sleep for another few hours.  it scared the crap out of me.

i might not buy the dvd, because i’m not watching it in my house.

little boy kinda reminded myself of myself.  maybe i wasn’t that wild though.  little dude is out of control.

i really like how it limits dialog, especially in the beginning, and allows the scenery to tell the story.  which is fitting seeing as how the book from which this film is derived is more or less a picture book anyway.

it plays out really kinda sad though.  and i think that’s what keeps it from being a really great movie.  it’s just so sad.  i mean, sure, in the end it’s happy, but not like a happily ever after kinda deal.  because life is not happily ever after.  and i think that’s what this film is trying to tell us.

it’s the plight of a particularly imaginative little boy who’s kinda stuck inside his own head.  his big sister and her friends are mean to him, his parents are divorced and his mother isn’t paying him the attention he thinks he needs.  some very real, adult emotions that children are exposed to in real life everyday.

max escapes into the world where the wild things are.  and i hope i’m not spilling too many of the beans, but unless i’m wildly mistaken, the creatures are all different parts of his little fragile psyche.  and as he learns to interact with them, he learns how to act in his real life.  i found this film to be quite insightful.  that’s why it’s maybe not for little kids.  there’s not really enough action early on to grab a little one.  like kids around 8 and older i think would like this one more.

the whole thing just seemed a little sad to me.  and i guess growing up can be a little sad at times.  and maybe that’s the message.  i don’t know.  maybe i’m looking too hard for a message.  i could relate really well with this little fellas emotions that i’m sure there was a message in there somewhere.  but i suppose that’s for you to figure out for yourselves.

it takes some strange turns here and there, but you are trapped inside a wild little boy’s psyche.

go see it.  but i’m not so sure i’ll be purchasing the dvd.

well, for grown people go on spring break it was kinda tame i thought.  i see this movie with younger folks.  like early to mid twenties.  with the dude from the office that everyone loves so much.  he was also in a really bad movie with george clooney about football in the 30’s or something.

john krasinski.  that’s the guy.

but as it was, i guess this film wasn’t  too terrible.  the funniest stuff you’ve already seen in the trailers.  and it tends to drag a bit at times.  and it takes them too long to get to the island in the first place.  they coulda shaved a good ten minutes off the front of the movie so we could get more bikini action.

but no.

it’s an enjoyable chick flick though.  i’m not gonna run out and buy it or anything, but it’s a good date movie.  it’s got some intimate scenes, but nothing too racy or provocative.

i find it incredibly ironic that the creators of swingers are starring together in a movie about relationships.  but then again, aren’t most movies about relationships?

it’s probably the best date movie out in a while though.  it’s way better than love happens.  or what was that one with gerard butler?  the ugly truth.  it’s better than that one too.  that one sucked.  so did love happens.

so there you go.  couples retreat.  not terrible.  but decent.  i enjoyed sitting next to long, lean and sexy much more than anything on screen.  well, there’s some terrific eye candy.  kristin bell might be the most exciting thing i’ve seen on screen since..since…i can’t remember.  i freaking love kristin bell.  go check out a film called reefer madness.  just do it.

and i love malin ackerman as well.  and i love that her hair is a different color in every movie she does.  and she looks great in any hair color!

this is the movie to see this weekend.  period.  they give it to ya right off the bat.

it’s a touching love story set to the back drop of blood spattered, zombie ravaged america.

you hear metallica blasting as you see people running from zombies and zombies getting their heads smashed in.  it’s freaking awesome!

and i mean it.  they kick you right in the funny bone from the get go.  i expected this thing to be funny, but holy crap man, i almost laughed out of my seat.

it stars jesse eisenburg, who i like to call a bargain basement michael cera.  he’s all alone and has a list of ways to stay safe in zombieland.  number one is cardio.  the first ones to go were the fatties, mr. eisenburg flatly tells you as you see this big fat dude get run down by a zombie.  and his list goes on to include such things as fasten your seatbelt.  at which point you see him crash his car and a zombie that was hiding in his back seat go flying though the windshield.

check the back seat is quickly added to his list.

he comes across another survivor, woody harrelson who is driving a pimped out black escalade with the number 3 written on the side of it.  freaking classic.  the two team up and go about their zombie smashing business until they run into the girls. emma stone and abigail breslin.  comedy and splattered zombie brains ensue.

this is by far the best zombie movie since shaun of the dead.  it might be funnier even than shaun of the dead.  but who knows, with out shaun of the dead this movie probably never gets made.  so we’ll just put the two of them on a pedestal as the best zombie movies ever.

go see it.  it opens at midnight tonight.  unless you are squeamish about splattering zombie skulls.  then you might want to check out toy story one and two in 3D.

i’ll most def purchase zombieland when it is released on dvd.  this might be a day of release purchase.  it’s that freaking good.

oh, did i mention bill murray has a cameo?  what else do you need?

i really dug this film.  of course i am a sci-fi nerd and have a huge man crush on bruce willis…

i’m also a big fan of an author called philip k. dick.  if anyone will remember he’s written books that have been made into movies for years and years.  the most notable being bladerunner from way back in 1982 starring harrison ford.  also total recall, minority report, a scanner darkly, paycheck and next.  so you’re probably more familiar with philip k. dick than you even know.   now, this film is no bladerunner and it wasn’t written by philip k. dick.  it just reminds me of his work.  kinda where humanity lets the technology take over for them and it ends up not being for the best.

in this picture, people have become hermits who live in thier little caves and interact with one another though surrogate robots.  they might as well be plugged into, dare i say it, the matrix.  there’s actually a little bit of lots of things in here.  from the matrix to escape from l.a.

it’s kind of a slick murder mystery in a time when murders no longer happen.  everyone uses surrogate robots so no one is out to be murdered.  if something happens to your surrogate, you just get a new one.  now, they never tell us how everyone can afford one of these hot rods but maybe it’s after universal health care and the govt buys one for everybody…who knows.

but i digress…

anyway, there’s a movement of people who oppose surrogates and have set up safe zones or something where they live in slum like conditions and don’t allow surrogates.  which doesn’t really make much sense.  why would they be living in slums just because they are opposed to surrogates?  seems to me they’d have more money than everyone else since they were constantly upgrading their robots…but it is just a movie i suppose.

and it’s an enjoyable movie.  there have been several films this summer where people are using some kind of virtual reality.  like in gamer, which sucked, people can plug into other people and control them whereas here you are plugging into a robot instead of another human.  whatever.  this is the best of any of the “virtual reality” films out this summer.

maybe if i find it in the 5 dollar bin i’ll purchase the dvd.  but not if i have to cross the street, ya know.

if you’re a sci-fi nerd or a big bruce willis fan, you’ll enjoy it and it’s probably worth going to see.  bruce willis gets his ass kicked and he just keeps coming!  there is a continuity issue with the scar on his cheek but who cares.  bruce willis just kicks ass.

yeah, so does poop.

i got this sweet little hottie i like to take to the movies with me.  she’s about like 5′ 2″ and 102  pounds.  it’s rediculous really, but so much fun.  when asked why how i can sit though such a horrible movie i say blonde, 5′ 2″,  bout 102.  as i indicate an approximate height with my hand.

she said it’s the twist made this movie for her.  and alright, i guess i can see that.  not really much of a twist i should say, more a slight curve in the road.  you can see it a couple miles before you get to it.  but i suppose i can see how that’s the part of the movie would make it compelling for anyone.

it’s like we all know people like this dude, aaron eckhart.  they try to set up the flawed character that is so loveable that despite his gross hipocracy is given a complete and utter pass at the end of the movie because he finally sees the light and falls in love for realsies with jennifer aniston.

even being a fan of aaron eckhart, i just didn’t care.  it’s like i just don’t care about this dude or what happens to him.  i love jennifer aniston, and i didn’t want her hooking up with this douchebag.  i’m trying to tell her she can find someone better than this dude.  maybe not with so much money…but maybe that’s the agenda they are trying to push?  ’cause compelling story and likeable characters is not.

i thought the ugly truth was a pile of cinematic refuse.  but it’s better than this one.  i hate to be so negative but this movie just really sucks.  i don’t think it was the actors.  i mean, it looks like they are trying.  but there’s just no chemistry at all between these two.  the script wouldn’t allow it…

i don’t know how i sat though the whole thing.  oh yeah, blonde, 5′2″, buck oh two.

whip it good.  whip it real good.

this movie is freaking awesome!  whodathunk drew barrymore could pull off a directorial debut like this?  it’s really good.  it’s got all the things that make those really memorable and touching coming of age films memorable and touching.

first of all, who doesn’t want to see babes in fishnets roller skating and kicking each others asses?  throw in an awkward young teenage girl, played here masterfully by ellen page, a foil straight out of one of those john cusack 80’s films, (played here by the still smoking hot juliette lewis), an over bearing, beauty pageant pushing mother  and BAM!  you got the best film of the second half of summer.  or the best film of the fall so far.  either way, you don’t want to miss this one.

seriously, my vocabulary is too thin to shower this film with all the superlatives i think it deserves.  it’s fresh, witty, heart warming, smart, funny.  it’s everything you could want in a friday night date movie.  if drew barrymore can be this selective with the films she directs, and leave you feeling this good when it’s over, she’ll have a long and successful career as director.  in 20 years people will think of her as director instead of whatever pops into your mind when you think of drew barrymore now.

i only wish this movie had j.k. simmons in it.  not really, i just love that dude.  daniel stern plays the dad and he’s really good.  it took me until the credits to realize who he was.  where ya been daniel stern?  waiting for city slickers 3?  it’s good to see ya.

this film is a must have.  i’ll be picking this one up on dvd for sure.  it’s a full price purchase probably the weekend it’s released.

i must say i was a little disappointed the song whip it by devo wasn’t in the film.  i mean, really?  i’m glad this film was really good and left me feeling good about myself or i would be really pissed whip it wasn’t in there.  but as it is, only a little disappointed.