The Wolverine, The Conjuring, Despicable Me 2, Red 2, R.I.P.D., Sharknado

I’m so lazy.  I started this nearly a month ago…

The Wolverine, The Conjuring, Despicable Me 2, Red 2, R.I.P.D, Sharknado.

The Wolverine

They really might as well have just let it rip and go for the R rating.

i dug it for the most part.  there are some interesting perspective shots that utilize the 3D technology better than most any of the other action films this summer.

In a least common denominator, PG-13 kind of way, this is a psychological twist to the Wolverine storyline.  He kicks major ass and withstands the Hiroshima blast and slices and dices his way through an army of ninja, but we also get a glimpse at a softer, gentler Wolverine.

It’s a hot pretzel with cheese movie.    Not the best superhero movie this summer by any stretch, but it’s entertaining and come on, it’s Wolverine vs. Ninja, how is that not awesome?

Hugh Jackman looks like he’s been working on his bod since the last movie.  Dude is ripped up and shredded like Wolverine probably is.

SPOILER

Viper is the lamest villain ever.  Looks like they mixed Elly from Kill Bill with Uma Thurman’s Poison Ivy character.  It’s like what are they doing?

The Conjuring

Legitimately spooky.

It’s done all 70’s horror film style.  Ron Livingston’s hair is awesome!

It’s rated R and that’s for intense horror.  Not much language I can recall, and no sex or nudity at all.  Very little blood and gore.  Just scary as hell!

It does borrow some spooky tricks from several other films out the last decade but that didn’t really bother me so much.  It drew me in and made me jump a couple of times and more than that it keep a creepy feeling in my belly the whole time.  It keeps ya pretty wound up.

Anytime you put children into those kinds of intense situations it makes the hair on the back of my neck crawl, and it nearly crawled out the theater on me.

Medium drink and popcorn date movie kind of thing.  You’ll both be glad you’ve got someone to cling to in the scary parts, which is most of the movie!

Despicable Me 2

It’s all about the minions.

Not as good a storyline as the first one but a lot of fun.  Very touching at parts and overall a funny, often hilarious, feel good movie.

Nobody cares if you saw the first one, you’ll laugh and laugh at the minions.  It’s amazing how attached and compassionate you feel towards these little yellow, blue overalled, nonsensical speaking guys.  We had kids dress up like minions for the midnight premiere.

Large Drink and Popcorn.

RED 2

Eh, I like these old geezers.  And Mary Louise Parker is my new favorite Hollywood actress.

It’s not as comic book-y as the first, just some cut scenes that go all comic.

The characters are good, John Malkovich rules.  And Sir Anthony Hopkins is always fun!

Helen Mirren, Bruce Willis, Catherine Zeta-Jones.  It’s truly an all star cast and none of them disappoint.

Medium popcorn and drink.

Sharknado

Well, I didn’t watch the whole thing.  Just a few minutes really and it’s just bad.  I mean you almost have to be trying to make something so godawful.

This is the End.

Alright, this was pretty damn funny.

Rude, crude and lewd, yes.  But I found myself laughing through most of the movie.

There are worse places to be stuck during the apocolypse than Jame Franco’s place with Seth Rogan, Jay Baruchel, Danny McBride, Jonah Hill and Craig Robinson.  For example, Michael Cera’s.

Who by the way was freaking hilarious!

There’s not really much else to say about this film other than if you like any of these dudes and don’t mind dick jokes, bad language and outrageous comedy, go see it.

Danny McBride has some of the best lines.

Seth Rogen is the most tolerable I’ve seen him since Super Bad.

Jay is a bit of a pussy, but someone’s gotta be.

Craig Robinson cracks me up.

Hermione steals all their shit.

It’s just damn funny.  Typically I’m not a fan of most low brow humor but what can I say?  I just kinda relate to these dudes.

Jay Baruchel and Seth Rogen are real life friends from way back Canada days and they even made a short film called Jay and Seth Versus the Apocolypse (2007) and I can really see these guys as junior high friends goofing off in the back of English class daydreaming this stuff up.  Then later when they are rich movie stars they invite their friends along and make the damn thing.

Whatever your high is, get it on, pick up some m and m’s for your pocket and go for a large popcorn to share with your friends.  Turn off the cell phones and make a night of it.

Oh, I nearly peed myself when Channing Tatum shows up!

the last exorcism.

the last exorcism?  well, i highly doubt this will be the last exorcism movie made.  and i normally don’t go in for these kinds of flicks but what can i say?  i’m easy.

i’ve read reviews on both ends of this film.  some people are saying the script is witty and original and a great twist on the exorcism genre and i’ve read reviews that call this movie an insult to horror movies.  i guess i’m somewhere in between.  i guess maybe it’s kind of original in it combines a couple different things that we’ve seen in recent years.

it’s like this, it’s about an evangelical minister doing a video to expose the scam that is exorcism.  he has done many exorcisms in his day and at one point decides he shouldn’t and wants to show the world what they are all about.  so he brings in this video crew and goes on one more.  i found it interesting that he kept the money for performing this exorcism, but that’s beside the point.

anyway, he puts on his little show, collects his money and off he goes.  but of course things start to go awry and he’s pulled back to the house and we get to see all the gruesome stuff we expect in an exorcism film.  creepy little girl spewing baby food puke, she gets all contorsionisty and just turns into an uncontrollable freak.  then we get some running through the woods and a final scene that is so over the top it seems like we’ve seen it before.  in a south park episode….

but whatever.  i guess if you like these kinds of movies this one has a twist you may or may not see coming.  it’s got some pretty good humor especially in the first half.  i don’t feel like my life has been enriched by seeing this film, but i don’t feel like i’ve been defiled either.

i did like the first part of it.  i just liked the main character’s attitude.  he was just all nonchalant about what he was doing.  tricking people and taking their money.  patrick fabian is kinda like a poor man’s aaron eckhart.  but then it devolved into every other exorcism movie ever made.  then they added a little blair witch and paranormal activity and topped it all off with the furry woodland creatures from south park.

so go check it out if you like exorcism movies.  but if you are on the fence, go see piranha 3D!