i’m sorry to all you suckers paid to see this pile of weak character development. and i apologize for not having my blog up in time to warn you. this thing was so bad. and to top it off it might have been the worst movie experience of my life. but at the same time makes it all that more memorable. how epically bad it was. and it just kept getting worse the longer the movie played.
it started 20 minutes late. a belt broke on the projector. that kinda thing happens from time to time. there was a pretty decent crowd on hand. 40 people or so. and everyone was pretty cool. folks were just out for a fun movie night so everybody’s chatting among themselves. having a good time.
then the movie was terrible. imagine cloverfield, war of the worlds (the tom cruise war of the worlds) and george romero’s worst movie all spliced poorly together with random rip offs from everything from the matrix to star wars. and that would still be better than this crappy film.
the characters were all d-bags so when one of them get’s snatched up you’re feelings aren’t too hurt about it. you’re like ah, that’s kinda sad. but really, they kinda deserved it. i didn’t care about any of those people. i’m gonna go ahead and tell ya how it ends ’cause it’s retarded. they are getting snatched up and the aliens are pulling their brains straight out of they heads and putting the human brain into some weird cloney things reminded me of the orcs from lord of the rings. it’s like they are creating this spawn to overrun the earth but they need the human brains to power them or something. who knows. but the main couple are snatched up by this thing and he gets his brain put into one of these spawny things and when it hears her screaming, it comes to her aid and touches her face with its horrible giant slimy claws all caressing like. and she’s like, jared? then it turns to fight off the alien horde of human brain powered orc zombies.
you’re serious? freaking zombies? this movie offends every genre. the most interesting thing that happened was inside the last 15 minutes the automatic inbetween movie interlude video came up, right on top of the movie. so this scene supposed to be the big dramatic, emotional climax has the inbetween movie trivia on top of it. everybody knew the answer was yogi bear.
it’s movies like this make me confident i could script a decent screenplay.
by far the worst movie of the year.
cal's blog. about movies. 