Guardians of the Galaxy, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Guardians of the Galaxy might be the best film of the year so far.  I had to watch it twice to make sure I liked it as well as I thought I did.

And while I’m not sure it’s as good as say the first Iron Man, it’s at least as good as any of the Marvel sequels.

It has been somewhat of a down summer for movies, and a little light on kid’s movies so this thing is blowing up!  95 mil on the first weekend?  Nicely done.

And it does serve as a kid’s movie as well.  Although it is PG-13 and the language is not what most of y’all would want your child repeating, it’s mostly appropriate for the older kids, I’d say 10 and up should be good.  But lots of folks are bringing their little ones.

That’s how ya make 95 mil in a weekend in August.  A kid friendly, fairly original Marvel/Disney film that’s actually pretty damn good.

My only complaint is really the necro dudes.  Marvel/Disney has come up with a faceless enemy, and yeah, I know this is not a new device – hello stormtroopers – but in my opinion it’s a cop out.  You can massacre these faceless, necro soldiers indiscriminately and keep their PG-13 rating and ya really don’t feel bad for them.  They are faceless and already dead anyway, right?

Cop out.

Other than that, this is a solid film.  Gamora’s dialog was a bit weak, comparatively and her motives weren’t really laid out in a way that made me buy it – just one little line of dialog to explain herself and everyone is all, okay.  Eh, whatever.  This will be fun series moving forward.  Chris Pratt is along the lines of Chris Evans, and he’s even ripped in this one.  He comes across like a good guy everyone can relate too.

Anytime you can have a character that evokes the most emotion out of the audience with just three words (four really) the entire film…you’re doing something right.  I am Groot.

Yes, sir.  Indeed you are.

Catch this one in the big theaters if ya get a chance.

Also a shout out to Dave Bautista for his first big movie role.  He freaking nails it!  I look forward to seeing this cast in future Guardians movies.  They really have opened up the Marvel universe with this film and I see nothing but exciting, fun, entertaining films down the road.  Oh and money.  Lots and lots of money.

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – it’s better than Godzilla.

The turtles are great!  They look great, their dialog is sharp and witty.  If only the rest of the story and characters where as sharp!

Megan Fox…well, um, I believe she’s had some work done and it was a bit distracting from time to time, but it’s not really her fault her lines where so bad most of the time.  Very Saturday morning cartoon type of stuff.  Which is cool I guess, since this is kinda a Saturday morning cartoon type of film…

Will Arnett had a couple decent lines but for the most part, the live action acting was bad, flat, uninspired and poorly written.  I mean, in a real life situation Whoopi Goldberg would have fired that ditz long time ago.  She had no story idea at all!  And wasn’t good at trying to explain what she was doing to her work mates.  But that’s not Megan’s fault, that’ll be your script writers fault I suppose…

But – the action was amazing, the turtles again were fantastic.  Their relationships to each other was the main thrust of  the film and set up future films.  You have to trust each other turtles.  That’s a big theme and the action sequences really drive that point home.  They have to help each other out in order to be successful and that’s a really good point to make.  Actually surprises me a bit coming from Michael Bay.  Nicely done.

Shredder is a bad ass as well.

The action is a lot of times very video game-y and I can see where the video game tie ins will be successful.

They took good advantage of the 3D aspects.  It’s about the best 3D action I’ve seen.  Probably still not worth the up-charge if you’re taking a couple kids but if it’s just you and your girl, or guy, go on and toss down the three bucks.  Unless the 3D gives you a head ache.

The action at the end devolved into completely outrageous, no way in hell, oh wait, this is a Saturday morning cartoon, so far over the top I’m laughing.

But it’s whatevs.  The dialog between the turtles and watching their relationships develop on screen is totally worth all the ridiculousness.

As an old school TMNT fan, I give this franchise my stamp of approval.

This one is more appropriate for younger kids.  They will enjoy the very “brotherly” type of antics the turtles are always pulling.

It’s a fun movie.

Star Trek: Into Darkness

big, loud, filled with drama, amazing effects, fast paced action and overall just kinda of an, eh it’s pretty good.

JJ Abrams has certainly taken his liberties with “Star Trek” timeline and i’m sure that’s got more than just a few Trekker’s feathers ruffled.  but it’s whatever, all that stuff doesn’t really bother me.

what bothers me is all the drama during the first 30 minutes of the film that really don’t do anything but waste time getting to the real story.  everything that happens and is shocking and got me thinking that hey, maybe they are doing something really different here, just evaporate and we’re right back where we started.

having said that, it’s still a very entertaining film.  the Star Trek universe as we know it, those of us who grew up watching Kirk and later Picard guide the Enterprise on it’s 5 year mission of peace and hope, is gone.  in this film, we are reduced to the base-ness of Lowest Common Denominator film making.

the overall theme of this film is vengance.  vengance has always played a part in the original series, but never sought out by our heros like it is in this film.  Kirk often throws caution to the wind to save his friends or an alien race, but never before has he simply gone on a manhunt with the intent to kill.

Gene Roddenberry’s vision is tainted.

the interplay between the characters certainly got the most treatment in this film.  it’s kinda like they are trying to squeeze a televion season’s worth of character development into 132 minutes of feature film.  and it’s just too much.

Karl Urban’s Dr. McCoy is reduced to cheap one liners and old timey metaphors.  Spock and Uhura’s relationship is played out for too long!  dammit Jim, he’s a Vulcan not a whiney ass teenager we might see on some WB program!

it’s cool to see Peter Weller, Leonard Nimoy makes a cameo blah, blah, blah.

SPOILER ALERT

i was happy to see Khan.  and Benedict Cumberbatch nails it and is easily the best thing in this movie.  although the sexy little kitten twins we find in bed with Kirk are pretty amazing, Khan steals the show.

and remember, Trekkers, they have taken liberties with the Star Trek timeline, and borrowed story elements from every sci-fi film or TV show from the last 30 years.  that doesn’t really bother me too much though.  it’s a re-imagining of Star Trek and that’s all fine and good.

but you’ve gone too far JJ.  i mean, i’ll watch the next film and you’re set up nicely for a seriest of films.  they set out on that fabled 5 year journey to seek out new life and new civilizations and that should make for at least one more entertaining movie.

but holy crap man, there’s about 7 or 8 different species of humaniods working on the deck of the Enterprise that we never, ever meet.  we just see them react to something.  what the eff?  where did all these guys come from?

and really, Kirk should be removed from service and placed into a mental asylum.  that dude gets away with so much it’s just not believable.  they break the prime directive just as the film is opening.  no big deal, everyone lives.  but Spock, played once again almost to perfection by Zachary Quinto, files a report telling the big wigs at Star Fleet what happened. um, the whole thing was his idea to start with….

so Kirk gets demoted to First Officer under Capt. Pike.  well, Admiral Pike, aboard the Enterprise and Spock gets re-assigned to a new Captain.  shit breaks out, Pike is killed making Kirk the Captain once again of the Enterprise and he just ask for Spock back and they say ok.  Spock’s new Captain was killed in the attack so shouldn’t Spock now be Captain of his new ship as he was the First Officer?

whatever, we just need to get Spock and Kirk back together on the Enterprise so the real story can start.

ay carumba.

and the theme of revenge is good to introduce Khan and as i mentioned he was the best part of the film.  but in the process of chasing down Khan, Kirk lands on the Klingon home planet and starts a war.  nice.

the only way to truly enjoy this film is to put everything you know, or thought you knew about Star Trek out of your mind, munch on some popcorn and pray in your heart JJ doesn’t take so many liberties with the Star Wars universe he’s about to helm.

if you are among the masses, you’ll like this film okay.  it’s a fast paced action sci-fi with lots of bright lights and pretty people.  the Klingons look pretty bad ass and i’m excited maybe they will be the main bad guys in the next film.  if you are a fan of Star Trek, you might want to hold off on this one as you’re likely to leave the theater in a huff.

and the 3D is completely unnessessary as it generally is.

 

the losers.

this movie is pretty awesome.  it’s a serious comic book movie and plays like a top notch first person shooter during the action scenes.  don’t expect much depth to the characters as they are all very, very static.  but very, very entertaining as well.

it’s a movie of good vs. evil and in the opening sequence when they blow up a helicopter full of little kids, you know exactly who the bad guy is and exactly who the good guys are.  max is the bad guy and the losers are the good guys. and jason patric is awesome as max.  the conversations he has with his henchmen are classic.

clay is the leader of the losers played by jeffrey dean morgan and his team will follow him where ever he goes.  they do try to get a little overly dramatic at times and talk about leaving the team.  one guy is wanting a regular life, one guy has a wife and a kid, blah, blah, blah.  these guys are the losers and this is what they do.

they get into incredible situations and kick serious butt.  that’s what they do.  at one point in the movie i was questioning if the loser were really that good or if the regular army dudes are just retarded.  either way, this is a fun ride.

zoe saldana…you ma’am, are worth the price of admission.  she’s like the new hallie berry.  except hotter.  i never would have thought it possible to be sexier than hallie berry.  thank you zoe.

chris evans is probably the best character in the movie.  he’s the comic relief and he is funny.  right from the first scene where he’s rocking the pink “go petunias” t-shirt he pretty much steals the show.  i can see him at some dive hollywood bar doing journey karoake getting ready for his elevator scene.

as comic book movies go, this is top shelf.  it’s really good.  i had heard people complain about it’s PG-13 rating but after having watched it i figure that’s about right.  the language is not that bad and there’s no boobies or anything.  there is a sex scene and a couple of fight scenes that could be sex scenes, but nothing terrible.  it does show chris evans putting some toys in a compromising position early in the film.  like right after the opening credits, but it’s nothing you won’t see a juvenile teenage boy doing with his little sister’s dolls.  so whatev.  i would adhere to the PG-13 if you want to take your kids.  leave the little ones home but the teens should be okay.

4 petunias out of 5.  i’ll probably buy this on dvd at some point.  i’m thinking if i find it in the 2 for 20 bin at blockbuster that’s a good deal.  this movie is good.  not as good as kick ass, but a lot cleaner.  no 11 year old girls cutting heads off and dropping “C” bombs.

star trek

yeah, it’s pretty awesome.

i liked a lot more things than i didn’t. i’m not going to tell you what i didn’t like so not to spoil any of it for you. it’s really pretty awesome. the star trek nerd in you will be satisfied. the best thing about this film is the cast. they are cast perfectly. from kirk down to chekov.

and yeah yeah, i know. chekov wasn’t on the Enterprise until the second season or whatever. but jj abrams so slyly plays the time warp card right off the bat. there’s an event that happens on the day james t. kirk is born that throws everything that happens after into an alternate reality. which is a good idea. it gives this franchise the freedom to go about it’s business and not really have to worry about a fan base raising hell that it’s way off the original story line.

that’s quick thinking mr. abrams. the whole space time thing has always been a recurring theme in the star trek for old. and now new. it’s pretty cool.

the story is a little flimsy at times but a very strong cast more than makes up for it. and i can’t stress enough how great the cast is. i hope they are all signed on for multiple films because i can see this thing going somewhere.

i want to take a second to acknowledge Zoe Saldana who plays Uhura. you are a galactic fox, baby. and you also play the part very well.

and spock, you sly dog you.

i also really appreciated the homage to the old school series that any fan of the show will recognize immediatly. a lot of the sound effects on like panel switches and communicators and stuff like that sounds like it was lifted right off the old show. it’s really cool. but the new sounds are out of this world. it sounds so awesome when the ships jump to warp. it’s really impressive. the whole thing looks spectacular without looking like a cartoon the way some CG heavy movies do.

i’m still trying to figure out what the hell red matter is all about and why i causes black holes. but whatever.

four and a half photon torpedoes out of five.