max payne.

well, it looks awsome.  not only in the trailers, but also on the screen. 

i just kept scratching my head the whole time asking myself, what is she…?  where did he…?  i mean, russian?  why is she a russian crime boss?  why does the tattoo artist an authority on norse mythology?  why does the rasta crime boss know everything about everything?

there were way too many people that knew way too much for their own good in this film.  it was just kinda, i don’t know, worse than the story lines from any of the max payne video games.  and i’ve never played a max payne video game.

but it did really look fantastic.  it was shot in a very film noir style.  lots of light and dark contrast.  it was nice to look at.  a few scenes where the particular characters where hallucinating where nothing short of spectacular. 

probably not worth dropping nine bucks for the theater.  but maybe five in a used dvd bin?

rise.

basically a pretty lame vampire movie.  but the opening scene has lucy lui picking up a female prostitute.  so that’s pretty cool.  and you get to see lucy lui’s boobies a couple of different times.  which is also pretty cool.

otherwise it’s just kind of a retread of just about every other vampire flick you’ve heard about or seen in the last ten years. 

poor little lucy lui in the wrong place at the wrong time gets turned into a vampire.  and she’s pretty pissed off about the whole thing so she sets off to hunt down and kill the vampire that turned her.

blah, blah, blah.

the main bad dude, bishop, does have a pretty good line when he’s talking to his soon to be young blonde dinner.  he says, sex and murder are the only pleasures left to man.  little blonde snack says, which one do you plan on using me for?  both.

but lucy lui’s boobies are totally worth five bucks out of a used bin if you can find it.  and i’m a sucker for crappy vampire flicks with smokin’ hot babes.  but this one is pretty bad.  so i’m going one and a half wooden stakes out of five.