daybreakers.

the best vampire movie i’ve seen this year!  of course it is only january 8.

no faggie sparkle in the sunlight vampires here.  nope, these monsters burst full into flame when they come in contact with sunlight.  and when they don’t drink human blood they turn into even worse monsters.  nasty bat looking creatures that get all crazy and stuff.

the premise is this, the vampire virus breaks out and everyone turns into a vampire except a few humans who decide to fight against it.  so the vamps round up the remaining humans and farm them for blood.  other than the obvious problem here, the vampires would at some point realize if they turned everyone human, they would eventually run out of food.  and run out of food is exactly what they do.

they are of course searching for a blood substitute to keep them all alive.  they should call up the folks over at true blood at hbo.

anyway, ethan hawke is a vampire hermatologist working on this blood substitute.  he’s a softy and has compassion for the humans he sees hung up and drained of blood as he walks to his office everyday at work.  he runs into some humans on the run and they recruit him to help develop a cure.  but of course the greedy rich vampire that runs everything really isn’t looking for a cure, just repeat customers.

blood and gore ensue.  and it does get bloody and gory.  and ya know, that’s alright.  that’s the way vampire flicks are supposed to be.  starring ethan hawke, willem defoe and sam neill.

this one ain’t blowing up the box office this weekend unless everyone gets snowed in and has already seen everything else.  it’s just kinda alright.  i mean, it’s got some cool sun bursting and wood staking in it but i’m not gonna rush out and buy it on dvd.  if i find it in the five dollar rack maybe…

rise.

basically a pretty lame vampire movie.  but the opening scene has lucy lui picking up a female prostitute.  so that’s pretty cool.  and you get to see lucy lui’s boobies a couple of different times.  which is also pretty cool.

otherwise it’s just kind of a retread of just about every other vampire flick you’ve heard about or seen in the last ten years. 

poor little lucy lui in the wrong place at the wrong time gets turned into a vampire.  and she’s pretty pissed off about the whole thing so she sets off to hunt down and kill the vampire that turned her.

blah, blah, blah.

the main bad dude, bishop, does have a pretty good line when he’s talking to his soon to be young blonde dinner.  he says, sex and murder are the only pleasures left to man.  little blonde snack says, which one do you plan on using me for?  both.

but lucy lui’s boobies are totally worth five bucks out of a used bin if you can find it.  and i’m a sucker for crappy vampire flicks with smokin’ hot babes.  but this one is pretty bad.  so i’m going one and a half wooden stakes out of five.